Again I say, I woke up one day and my life had changed. I’m still dealing with the aftermath of this ordeal.
I invested so much of myself into my job. I hardly had any time to unwind and relax. I always wanted to be on my A-game because that job meant that much to me. I needed to prove that I was worth it, that they were right in choosing me.
Things changed. My mental paradigm shifted. I tried throwing myself deeper into my work because a part of me was still angry at myself. However, I had also changed. The more I tried proving myself, the more I felt I was being criticised. I couldn’t handle it anymore.
Since I’ve left that job, I feel so empty. For a good year, my job was my life. It defined who I was. Now I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. A psychologist asked me this question and I honestly started crying because I couldn’t answer. It was like my purpose had vanished.
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I’m struggling to refind my purpose. It’s a battle each day because social media is saturated with people who seem to have found their purpose and flourishing.
I’ve decided to take a break from social media. Cleanse myself.